I’ve been frustrated for some time over workplace-related issues, and got even more frustrated when someone suggested that behind all my complaints was a personal need to feel “important.”
That particular interpretation really shagged me (hehe) because:
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It successfully brushed aside the validity and legitimacy of my specific complaints and made them look invalid – consequently, it also brushed aside the chance of working toward a solution to those issues I raised. <And there is always a solution !>
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It was a slip in an otherwise fruitful dialogue to get to the bottom of things, a knee-jerk pop psychology assessment. Hehe. First off, EVERYONE in this world needs to feel “important.” As Hyrum Smith of the Steven Covey trend notes -- ALL people have the following basic psychological needs:
- To feel secure.
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To be loved.
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To feel important.
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To experience variety.
Come up against any of those needs, and see what happens!
Hyrum Smith’s lesson often comes to mind when I am pissed with my daughter and am scolding her or even yelling at her. And when I remember him, I change my tack, stop telling her what to do, involve her in the problem, ask her opinion, listen to her and let her act…and when she feels like she’s an important solution to the problem, things work out….Of course 2/3 of the time, I’m not that good a parent.
The need to be AFFIRMED is a normal, human need. And phrasing this as wanting to feel important made it look like a dirty secret, hehe—
We don’t only work to make a living… we work to be challenged and fulfilled. Here I insert a chart of the universal values that make for happiness or contentment, according to anthropologist David Pollard.
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3. As most of the people in this Baguio Multiply community know, it’s not really a cultural trait among Ibalois to seek the limelight. Most of us like doing the backstage work, and as for me I actually work best as the “sidekick.” This is why I’ve always chosen to work for icons in the past.
What the entire affair made me realize was that --
1. I work WELL when I’m working FOR someone I look up to, am impressed with… someone who inspires my loyalty etc etc.
2. I work BEST when I feel like I’m working for a worthy cause.
3. And nowadays, of course, I can only work if I’m paid well enough so I support my kid and the others dependent on me. hehehe
Anyway, I don’t intend to rant, but just wanted these things off my chest, so I’ll just post this so that I can put things behind me and get on--.
After all, I do look up to my boss. Even if he’s more or less my age I admit, I concede-- he’s far smarter! Hehehe. And though where I work now may not be the “Save-the-world” type of cause, it still represents a cause: Building a viable outsourcing business in the Philippines in the midst of an economic crisis, a strengthening peso (!), widespread corruption, a place where creative and talented people can work -- well that seems to me a noble enough cause. Needless to say, I am paid well.
So here are my reminders to myself :
Leadership
Successful leaders work with their teams to provide vision and to set goals, as well as to encourage involvement and accountability.
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Empowerment:
(Anecdote from Stephen Covey of the famous 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)
I was training U.S. Navy officers in leadership during the dot.com era, when someone told me about an exemplary leader named Captain David Marquet, Captain of the U.S.S. Santa Fe, who never lost anyone, in spite of the hellish conditions submarine personnel are required to endure.
An opportunity arose, which I jumped at. I was invited to board Captain Marquet's sub and interview him. Never before had I observed such empowerment. We stood on the bridge of this multibillion-dollar nuclear submarine with a football field of vessel in front of and behind us. A young officer approached the Captain and said, "Sir, I intend to take this ship down 400 feet." Captain Marquet asked about the sonar and sounding and then instructed this young man to give us another twenty minutes on the bridge before carrying out his intention.
Throughout the day, people approached the captain intending to do this or do that. The Captain would sometimes ask a question or two, but then say, "Very well."
He reserved only the top decisions for his own confirmation and empowered others to make the rest. He said he wanted to empower his people as far as he possibly could within the Navy's confines. He felt if he required them to own the problem and the solution to it, they would begin to view themselves as a vitally important link in the chain of command. He created a culture where those sailors had a real sense of adding value.
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Final Reminder : Seek FIRST to understand!
Final Reminder2: Promise Less, Deliver More!
